Google opens online store for business applications
In simpler terms: You can now search for 'One Night In Paris' and buy the camera she used to make that night a profitable one!

Mexico's Slim is 'world's richest' person
In simpler terms: Its finally time to have illegal American migrants in Mexico!

Brazil leader rapped for stance on Cuba dissidents
Actual Headline: Eminem writes a song accusing the Brazilian leader of sleeping with his wife in Cuba!

UN to review Pachauri's climate panel
I think they're now trying to ensure that the panel is actually studying the Himalayan glaciers and not an 'I need a serious defrost' freezer in Pachauri's refrigerator at home!

Parking mafia at colleges
In simpler terms: Students will henceforth learn 'parallel parking' at gunpoint!

Price of your daily vegetables at the click of a mouse
In simpler terms: Kill your house rat and save money on the vegetables he chews up everyday!

Missing: 1,000 city beggars
I know 800+ of those are in the Indian Parliament building, but we should all be worried about what happened to the remaining 200 genuine ones!

I am not nervous, says Beckham
Beckham reacts to the question "Victoria's Chicken Tikka Vendor supposedly likes to get kinky with skews!" (gulp!)

India need to institutionalise the game
Reports suggest that they had tried to do the same with cricket!..
.. But ended up mental institutionalising it instead!

Computer monitor stolen from court
Reports suggest that after realising that she has no screen to look at now, 'Kanoon' poked her eyes out in disappointment and is therefore known as 'Kanoon Andha Hota Hai'!