Sex-asana to women's rescue
In simpler terms: Men are finally redundant!

Tougher English test for foreign students in Britain
In simpler terms: Applicants who address the Queen as 'Queen A Lazy bed' will not be allowed in the UK henceforth!

'Woods reunites with wife and children'
Some of whom he knows of!
.. The rest are purely a 'happy rehab' surprise!

Nuclear-capable Agni-III missile test-fired
The poll for Agni-IV has decided that Salma Hayek will replace the war head from Agni-III who has finally agreed that Salma is way hotter!

Palin assails Obama at 'tea party' gathering
Reports suggest that she has took Obama's advice seriously and didn't wear 'lipstick' this time!

Pune sells porn worth Rs 30 lakh a year
In simpler terms: Pune desperately needs to know about the phenomenon called ' The Internet'!

Man stabs Ruchika's molestor outside court
Oh cmon! you could have tried blowing him up to pieces instead!
He's an Ex-cop.. no heart = no heartbeat to stop!

Hitler took 'primitive Viagra' to boost sex drive
Reports suggest that Hitler was still bad in bed because like the Primitive Man, The primitive Viagra couldn't manage 'standing upright' for long!

Two killed in US power plant explosion
Reports suggest that this is a result of medication overdose by the plant who aspired to grow up and talk like 'the ideating talking tree called Abhishek'

"We forced India to talk", says Pak minister
.. "Well, What could we do?! We asked Obama if he would kindly converse with us in Urdu!
.. And India refused to help out with some English!"