Peruvian police bust gang of "fat killers"
In simpler terms: Don't become a gym trainer in Peru. You might get arrested! (gulp!)

'Dream killer' cleared of murder
In simpler terms: The alarm clock is finally a free man!

Afghan minister: Taliban can be defeated
Doesn't it sound similar to all beauty pageants trying to convince us that they will one day establish world peace!

Taliban chief Mullah Omar in Karachi: US daily
If the 'Bin laden family friendly' George Bush were still the President of the US, the headline would probably read 'Taliban chief Mullah Omar in Karachi & US daily'!

Suspected Sainiks attack IBN-Lokmat office
Sainiks: People who were asked to get some media attention but have come back with a lot of media tension instead!

Pak using terror as state policy is 'tragic': PM
.. And how we've managed to elect the same government who even after a year of the attacks hasn't changed anything is 'magic': India

UN watchdog presses Iran over nuclear deadlock
The UN later realised the nuclear power of Iran and has clarified that it simply tripped on something and didn't mean to press dear angelic Iran!

Punjab Police suspends WWE champ Khali for taking leave
Damn! does that mean he has no choice but to live in the US, get popular and earn shit loads of money that will serve his grandchildren as well?! (bummer, what a loss!)

Atlantis astronauts finish first spacewalk
Aaah no wonder I could hear Billie Jean playing somewhere far.. far.. away!

Narendra Modi, Sushma refused to lead BJP
Ofcourse! would you ever want to lead the Bangladesh cricket team?!